Dios mío, it’s the Nicolas Cage Art Party.

We will be featuring many wonderful* works of art by a local and international lineup of artists depicting the various incarnations of one of history’s most magical actors and public figures.

Always good when “wonderful” requires an asterisk.

Croft promises a range of musical acts, including one that comes with an interpretive dancer named “Beany.” Beany, it should be added, is a bearded man who weighs 300 pounds.

Check out more images if you dare/hate your eyeballs.