Do:

Take the Precious Blood after fully consuming the Host.

Don't:

Dip the Host into the Blood, and then ask for Honey Mustard.

Do:

Offer prayers for friends and family during the Prayers of the Faithful.

Don't:

Offer prayers for Democrats.

Do:

Shake hands during the Sign of Peace.

Don't:

Lick them.

Do:

Laugh at the priest's humorous comments on the weather.

Don't:

Angrily blame them for it.

Do:

Use the Grotto for peaceful reflection.

Don't:

Use the Grotto to reenact key scenes from Madonna's "Like A Prayer" video.

Do:

Revere the Cross.

Don't:

Smash it until Jesus comes free.

Do:

Quietly consume the Host.

Don't:

Fly to Vegas and bet it on red.

Do:

Genuflect before entering the pew.

Don't:

Run up and down the aisles attempting to heal people.

Do:

Respond "Amen" after being offered the Host.

Don't:

Respond "Yeah, bitch."

Do:

Listen quietly to the sermon.

Don't:

Heckle the priest with cries of "Yeah, and when was the last time you got some?"

Do:

Attend Ash Wednesday services.

Don't:

Pour the ashes over your face and start doing offensive Negro stereotypes.

Do:

Refrain from eating meat on Lent.

Don't:

Leap over the Pastaria serving aisle at North Dining Hall and make loud declarations about the tyranny of the majority until bacon bits are provided.

Do:

Remember to have your throat blessed on St. Blaise's Day.

Don't:

No, Monica, that's not what we meant.