With a goal of making Student Government rich beyond the dreams of avarice, Student Government issued a formal proposal on October 16 to the Board of Trustees asking for payments of $10,000 cash to each member of Student Government.

In its bi-annual report to the Board, Student Government officials asserted the need, cost and demand for the cash payments, to be spent in any manner that Matt Griffin wishes.

Matt Griffin was pleased with the Board's reception of the proposal. "They were very warm", said Griffin. "You could microwave a burrito with the love I felt in this room." Sources do indicate that Board president Andrew J. McKenna was running a slight fever when he threw Student Government out of his office.

When selecting a focus for the report, the Griffin/Nass administration wanted a concrete issue it could both identify and offer concise solutions to. "This was a perfect choice", said Vice President Erek Nass. "A series of committees identified our poverty and offered the concise solution of the University giving us lots of money."

Executive Coordinator of Reports Katie Beirne summed up the proposal by saying, "This is a cut and dried issue. The way we presented it, it would be physically impossible to deny us the funds. Those Board members who vote against us will be in violation of Einstein's Theory of Relativity and will burst into flames."

When reached for comment, McKenna stated that "At least they got the part about going down in flames right."