LaFortune -- Controversy erupted in LaFortune student center again this week as various student organization battled for different parts of Dan Sullivan's dismembered body.

Campus Mexicans, the group most personally offended by Sullivan's cartoon, seized him in his dorm room last Friday night, carried him to the top of a pyramid like Temple and tore out his beating heart to honor the Sun Gods.

"It was very important for us to be able to express ourselves in this way," explained Maria DelToro Los Sanchez," Presidente of Campus Chicanos United for Positiveness, " Mr. Sullivan's death was a cathartic experience which will definitely lead to greater understanding and more funding for my group."

"Also, I want to be a news anchor when I grow up," Sanchez added.

"We want the neck!" declared a representative of the African Students Standing for Fair Action Concerning Environmentalism, "We need the neck so we can lynch him!"

"We will need the arms to crucify him properly," indicated Right Reason Acting-Editor-in-Chief Luke White. (White was speaking on behalf of Fred Kelly, who is in Hell.) "We demand the head," shouted Jebediah Rosencrantz and Guidenstern are Boring, a member of Campus United Jews Organizing for Jesus and Other Good People, "We can't gas him without the head! Furthermore, we protest his unavailability for assassination." "We demand the legs," explained a Native American Student for Whity Baiting, "We will march him far from his home to his death and then build casinos on his grave! Also, can we have our country back?" Brick Flabbergast, Editor-in-Chief of the Observer and temporary custodian of Sullivan's body apologized that, "I have but one cartoonist to give you to cover my own ass. I regret they he cannot divided equally among all of those his hideous evil has touched. We at the Observer are emphatically opposed to evil in all its forms and staunch defenders of goodness." The Administration has declined to take an official position on the brutal murder and ritual sacrifice of one of its students. "We consider the matter closed," said University President Edward Malloy. Student Body President Matt Griffin summed it all up saying, "I am pleased that Sullivan was killed, but I am not pleased that I will be unable to raise his still-beating heart above my head at midfield during the West Virginia game, since his heart was consumed by the mystical flames of the Mexican Sun God, just like the guy in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. That was so cool."