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Talking Points

The Inquisition has acquired Patty O'Hara's list of talking points for her upcoming meeting with the new administration. Here is a summary of the list:

1. Shut up, I'm talking here.

2. After you lector at the Opening Mass and carry the flag for a football game, we won't be needing much of you.

3. Hey, sit up and take your damn baseball caps off. Who do you think you are, Puff freakin' Daddy?

4. Please, no more of this restructuring of Student Government. You have no power anyway.

5. Wipe that smirk off your face, mister.

6. We need more trophies to display at halftime. Like the megaphone and the shilleleigh How about the Dilapidated Yellow Box?

7. I am just so sick of this foolishness.

8. Remember, you are here to represent the University. Show our alumni how we efficiently produce vapid upper middle class Catholic Republican accountants.

9. Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining (got that one from Judge Judy).

10. That kid who tried to impeach Griffin got a little encouragement, if you know what I mean.

11. I need a musical comedy salute to Saint Mary's on my desk by Good Friday. OK?

12. I really don't care that all the kids are doing it.

13. I would have gotten away with it if it hadn't been for you rotten kids.

14. Don't take advantage of the LaFortune interns. I will be checking their dresses weekly.

15. You are really trying my patience, Mister Man.

Special Prosecutor Garrity has indicated that the "talking points" will be investigated fully, if that's what Professor O'Hara wants.